At some point, you looked into the loving eyes of your partner and said those two simple words that bound you together. That sweet moment promised endless summers walking hand in hand and cold winter nights curled up together watching movies. You planned on a future together with maybe a house near the city and an extra bedroom for visiting guests or even a child to fill your days with excitement.
This was a beautiful dream that is treasured by women across the world, but not every life ends in a dream world. Reality often swipes the rug from under our feet, forcing us to evolve and change or get lost in the swirl of self-doubt that often accompanies divorce. So, I want to start this post by saying - it's okay.
No matter the reason for your separation, you are a human being worthy of love who deserves respect and is facing a challenging time in their life. I’ve met with many women going through a divorce and wish you nothing but calmness as you navigate this change.
To help you along the way, here are a few tips I’ve put together that I hope to inspire you to feel a little more empowered.
1 - Get Organized
Go out to your local store and pick up a planner right now. This is your divorce book. Put notes about every meeting with your lawyer, every point of contact with your soon-to-be-ex, and everything else that has anything to do with your divorce proceedings. No one can be expected to remember every detail, and having a clear record really helps. Keep a folder with your divorce book so you have a place for all the documents and copies you’ll receive.
2 - Create a Routine
Whether this experience is liberating or painful, you will be dealing with some intense emotions. Develop a simple routine that you can follow to avoid having your life turned upside down from divorce. Make sure you eat regular meals, try to go for a walk, and get enough sleep. Women often forget to take care of themselves during divorce, and that breaks my heart because you are worthy of support.
3 - Build Your Women’s Network
Speaking of support, time to bring the ladies back out! Set up lunch dates and outings with your closest friends that take your mind away from the situation. You need a mental break that will reduce the stress and any anxiety. Try doing constructive activities with your hands that can distract you and presents you and your friends a topic of conversation beyond your divorce.
4 - Build a Financial War chest
Most importantly, put your finances in order. Divorce is expensive regardless of what side of the equation you land on. This is even more true if children are involved that require the same love and financial support they did while you and your ex were still living together. The more you can gather all your financial documents together and maintain an income of some sort, the less you’ll have to pay for your attorney fees and deal with trying to find a piece of information while also managing your feelings.
Where to Go Next?
That is where my team can help. Meyers Financial Services is a professional wealth management firm with an expert team of experienced advisors ready to help you through this challenge by ensuring your financial future and independence. We work closely with your situation and offer an unbiased soundboard to help you organize, maintain, and grow your wealth.
Our financial coaching specializes with women in transition who need the care of a concerned party and a hard look at their situation, so they feel empowered and ready to make crucial decisions and regain control of their lives. Reach out today and schedule a consultation with Meyers Financial. We look forward to hearing from you and helping you through this challenging time.
Lillian Meyers CFP®, CDFA®, EA is a Financial Planner for Women in Sonoma, California helping clients live their best life through the use of financial planning, investment management, and other sophisticated financial options.