Have you lost your spouse or are you getting a Divorce?

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What to do After the Loss of a spouse, Life partner, Relative, or Friend

You have lost your spouse and you are feeling alone, abandoned, and without a map or a guide to help you. The loss may be settling in your heart and throat.  You don’t really know where to start with the rest of your life.

What do I need to do now, after the loss of a spouse?

That is the question I sometimes hear from clients after the death of a loved one. The following matters should be considered after the loss of a spouse, life partner, close friend, or relative.

Not all of the points will apply to all Decedents, but many of them will. I have endeavored to put them into a logical sequence, but as always, practical sense should prevail.

Immediately after the loss

  1. If a doctor is not present, notify a doctor or coroner in order to obtain a death certificate.
  2. If the death occurs at home, you may need to contact a local police officer or coroner.
  3. If the Decedent wished, a donation of body parts and tissues should be considered.
  4. Notify family and friends. You may want to consider having family members contact others to save yourself some time on the phone during a stressful period.

Sometime thereafter the loss

  1. Look for instructions which the Decedent may have left regarding preferences for funeral and burial arrangements.
  2. Determine if the Decedent belonged to a burial or memorial society that may make special arrangements for the funeral, such as military honor guards.
  3. Contact a funeral home concerning burial or cremation arrangements.
  4. Complete funeral and burial arrangements.
  5. Contact the Social Security Administration and any other government agencies or benefit program that may be making payments to the Decedent. (Note that the payment for the month of death will not be made by the Social Security Administration and others.)
  6. Review the Decedents financial affairs and look for any estate planning documents, such as Wills and Trusts, along with any other relevant documents, including:

Funeral and Burial Plans;

Safe Deposit Agreements and keys;

Nuptial Agreements;

Life Insurance Policies;

Existence of Trust;

Pension-retirement benefits;

Old tax returns;

Prior Gift Tax returns;

Marriage, birth and death certificates;

Divorce documentation;

Computer records regarding books of a business or personal assets;

Bank statements, checkbooks, similar documents;

Notes receivable;

Titles to motor vehicles;


Securities and list of securities;

Any documentation of business ownership or business interest;

Health Insurance, make claims for the final illness; and

Unpaid bills.

  1. If there is a Will, take the Will to the appropriate County or City office to have it accepted for probate.
  2. Administering the Will - If the Will is properly drawn, it will name a Personal Representative (also known as Executor or Executrix). The Personal Representative, who can be an individual, a group of individuals or one or more institutions, or a combination of the aforementioned, will be responsible for the administration of the Estate of the Decedent.
  3. If there is no Will and there are sufficient assets to probate every state has a different amount for probate, then the Court will appoint an administrator and the assets of the Decedent will be distributed according to state law. This situation is referred to by some as having the state write a Will for you. All states have a set of laws relating to intestate succession (transfer of property after dying without a Will), and the states decide who gets which assets if someone dies without a Will.
  4. If you are the Personal Representative or Successor Trustee of a Trust, try to make a list of the assets owned by the Decedent or the Trust, in order that they can be administered and distributed according to the wishes of the Decedent.
  5. You will need a new IRS ID to file tax returns, open bank accounts, and transfer investments to the Estate. You can apply online irs.gov.
  6. Open a bank account for the estate of the Decedent. This should be done early on and all receipts and disbursements should be recorded in that bank account, in order to account properly for the assets of the Decedent and the expenses of administration.
  7. Probate is a process similar to that of accounting. The Personal Representative is responsible for collecting the assets and reporting to the Court as to the amount of assets in the Estate of the Decedent. The Personal Representative then assembles the assets and, after paying debts, expenses and taxes, distributes the assets according to the wishes of the Decedent. If the Decedent left no Will, the process of administration is essentially the same, except that state law determines to whom the assets are distributed. If everything is done correctly, eventually, after the Personal Representative has accounted for and distributed the assets, the Personal Representative is discharged.
  8. Make an inventory of household goods, personal belongings and the like, in order that they can be accounted for and properly distributed.
  9. Look for insurance policies or annuities which may continue for other family members and other assets. Contact the Insurer with respect to any current policies or annuities.
  10. Try to assemble the deeds of the Decedent to see what real estate, if any, is owned by the Decedent. If real estate is owned in more than one state, special proceedings, called "ancillary administrations," may be needed in each state.
  11. Determine if the Decedent owned any securities, stocks, bonds, mutual funds, etc.
  12. Retirement Plans, IRA accounts and similar retirement benefits involve important choices which need to be made by certain beneficiaries, particularly in regard to IRA accounts under recent IRS regulations. If there are annuities, pension and profit-sharing plans and interest of that type, they may provide for joint payment to a surviving spouse or others.
  13. If the Decedent controlled or was a principal person in a business, it may be necessary to check to see if there are Buy-Sell Agreements under which the interest of the Decedent would be purchased by the business entity or other business owners.
  14. If, after the appointment of a Personal Representative, a bank account or safe deposit box is found, then the assets in the bank account or safe deposit box need to be distributed according to the wishes of the Decedent.
  15. If the Decedent was indebted to anyone, then the creditor needs to be paid. If the creditors are not paid and they make a claim against the estate after all of the assets are distributed, the Personal Representative may be in trouble and held personally liable for the debt.
  16. As part of the probate process, all family members within a certain degree of kinship must be contacted, whether or not they receive assets from the Estate of the Decedent.
  17. In handling the affairs of a Decedent, do not be quick to make distributions to family members or friends of the Decedent. Important choices need to be made concerning such distributions and, of course, they need to be in compliance with the Will or other instructions left by the Decedent, not to mention any applicable tax laws.
  18. The income taxes of the Decedent for the year of death need to be filed, and any tax due must be paid. If there is a surviving spouse, the surviving spouse and Decedent can file a joint return for the year of death.
  19. If there is a Trust, particularly a Revocable Living Trust, it will become irrevocable at the time of death, if not before. A separate tax return, Form 1041, Fiduciary Income Tax Return, needs to be filed for the Trust or the Estate of the Decedent if income is received by the Estate or a Trust.
  20. If there are minor children and the Will provides for a guardian, then the guardian needs to be informed and the children need to be placed in the care of the guardian. If there are minor children and no guardian is appointed, or if there is no Will, then the Court must appoint a guardian.
  21. If there is real estate that is insured, the Personal Representative should make sure that the insurance policies on the properties of the Decedent are maintained.
  22. Be deliberate and do not be hasty with decisions or distributions. The death of someone, particularly a family member or friend, is stressful and often if there are children of the Decedent around during the course of the final illness, there may be disputes regarding the treatment or other problems related to declining physical or mental abilities of the parent. Stated differently, it is a time of frazzled nerves and irritable people, so be very careful not to create schisms which can last for a very long time.
  23. Watch out for people who prey upon families of Decedents. There are people who look for death notices and make unfounded claims against the Decedent. Some may also attempt to burglarize the home during the funeral service. Be cautious about such matters; have someone stay at the home during the funeral service and do not easily accept the claims of unknown individuals that lack documentation.
  24. If you are the surviving spouse, make sure veterans benefits or other "joint and survivor" benefits are collected by the surviving spouse. While this list is rather extensive, no list can be 100% complete, so there is bound to be some situation that has been overlooked or not adequately treated.
  25. Don’t forget to deal with Social media.



There you have it. A list of the considerations for losing a spouse, life partner, relative or friend. As mentioned, not all items will apply to all Decedents, however, please review the list and make your Plan for how to deal with each aspect of the loss.

You’ve looked at the considerations, but you’re still not sure what to do?  Contact us for a consultation!

Financially Planning for Divorce

If you and your spouse are going through a divorce or considering a divorce, it is important to adequately account and plan for the financial changes that are coming. It is all too easy to be blindsided by the unexpected costs of dividing a household. A divorce attorney may be able to help with the division of property and the establishment of support payments, but their financial acumen only goes so far. At Meyers Financial Services, Inc., our consultants specialize in helping families adjust to the financial changes associated with divorce.

Contact us today to get started!

The Financial Implications of Divorce

No matter how you look at it, divorce significantly changes your financial situation. In most cases, this includes a reduction in income and an increase in living expenses. One residence becomes two, and two-income families become one-income individuals. Without adjusting their standard of living, many families struggle to survive financially.

Divorce influences all of the following:

  • Retirement planning
  • Estate planning
  • Property holdings
  • College planning
  • Credit and liabilities

Talk to a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA)

A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) can act as an advisor for your divorce attorney or as a mediator for you and your spouse. In addition to extensive knowledge relating to tax law and asset distribution, a CDFA also serves as a financial planner for those who must quickly adjust to a new financial situation.

If you're looking for a consultant that is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, look no further than Meyers Financial Services, Inc... We have experience and have helped countless clients throughout the bay area adjust to the financial changes of divorce. Whatever the circumstances of your own divorce, we will work with you to provide the best short-term and long-term solutions available.

To schedule an initial 60-minute complimentary meeting, call us today at (707) 935-1124.

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